Driving

A colleague pointed something out to me today I hadn't noticed...

her: Have you noticed there aren't many stop signs here?
me: Whaaat?
her: It's true. Can you think of any?
me: (long pause) ... No, I actually can't.
her: You can practically count the stop signals on two hands. They're all round-abouts and yield signs.
me: (grunt)
her: And, did you know you're supposed to yield at every intersection to the driver on your right?
me: (sigh) Nope.

Then I got home, and remembered this cute thing in my neighborhood. I suppose it qualifies. Maybe. Otherwise, it's good to have a few reminders, e.g. mirror check and lunch advice.

Moo

Cows. They play a very prominent role here. Their bells can be heard most days. More cowbell. You can buy these bells in airport souvenir stores. As small as you want, or as big as your head. Cheese, milk, steak, ice cream, cappuccinos... and chicken. Cows are into a whole lot of things here.

That's my son's voice in the background of the video.

Him: The one to the left's milkbag is also big.
Sister: SHHHHH!
Him: It is.

Milkbag.

Gina

Retrieved my family from the airport this morning. I drove. I'm a bit fearful of driving here. I need a useful GPS. We brought one of those with us from the US and had to install the local maps onto it. Her voice is rude, and she butchers the road names. I call her Gina for no particular reason other than it sounds funny to the kids (sorry if your name is Gina, no offense). Gina the GPS wanted to drive me through downtown Zurich to get to the airport. I decided to ignore Gina, and follow the freeway signs with the airplane on them. In doing so, I learned for the first time there is this huge new tunnel which opened within recent history. Gina has driven me around the backstreets a lot. If I don't pay attention and challenge Gina, double-check her accuracy with my own intuition, she'll direct me into a lake, an open field, a closed road... Either she's not that bright, or she's jealous I'm married.

Anyway, major hugs from the kids made my early-morning adventure worthwhile.

Mosquitoes

By day, temperatures are blistering hot. By night, temperatures remain sultry, but the windows have to remain open to get a breeze working. OMG, it's flaming hot, and these people don't use air conditioners. "Oh just go jump in a glacier water lake. It'll cool you right off." "You're wearing the wrong clothes, of course you're hot." Last week I was bitching about American frozen air being blown on everything. A few days ago, I was bitching to a friend about the mosquitoes again because 'tis the season once again.

me: I've decided I'm going to re-engineer mosquitoes.
friend: Huh?
me: Yeah. Take all the blood you want, but quit leaving that itchy crap behind. What's that all about?
friend: Did you say re-engineer a mosquito? Are you feeling ok?

Then, this article showed up today from Discover about re-engineering mosquitoes to take away malaria. I hate mosquitoes. I hate little else. I hate mosquitoes.

What???

I have no idea what has happened to me. I don't like the food in the US any more. Everything has the taste of really low quality corn in it. I have somehow become a picky grumpy old man. And what is happening with most buildings and air conditioning?? Did I realize this when I lived here? Why does the US have to blow frozen air on everyone at all times? I need one of those "inside" sweaters. Or a scarf. Yeah, an "inside" scarf.

Leaving Kansas City this Friday to head back to Switzerland until winter. I love Kansas City, my home.

OMG American Airlines

A few years ago I started flying a lot to and from Switzerland. I accumulated a LOT of frequent flyer points. I was able to use these over the past weekend to upgrade my seat, my wife's seat, and my two children's seats to business class on American Airlines. We paid for economy. This is actually an amazing thing when considering how many people also wanted to upgrade. I guess suffering so much through the past afforded me a one-time luxury, which I really needed to take advantage. I'll come back to why.

During boarding, the announcer called us "business ass classengers". Twice. I picked up on it the first time, Kris refused to believe me when I tried to tell her. Then , both Kris and I heard it the second time. It's funny enough that she said this. It's more funny to know how true it is what she's saying, even if she's slipping by accident.

During the reshuffle process, Kris and I were seated together. Not bad at all. The kids were spread across the plane. Also, not bad if you're a business ass classenger since you don't have to hear two pre-teens fight about touching each other's arms on the arm rests, or putting their shoes under the other's seat.

The first business ass classenger to see one of my children looked at my son, my 9 year old, and promptly looked around as if he were on Candid Camera. Kris darted up to him from a few rows back.

her: Sir? Would you be willing to trade seats with my daughter, just over there?
bac: Ha. When I saw him, I knew I would be moving.
son: Yeah, I'm not so comfortable around strangers.
bac: You'd be surprised I'm not all that strange.

Family settled, the plane was delayed by two hours for replacing a valve sensor in the right engine. I'm happy to wait as long as it takes for a cross-Atlantic 9 hour journey, just to be safe.

Back to why I needed the advantage this time... I somehow chose this 9 hour flight to mature a flu to the point of severely high fever, serious dehydration, and a dramatic disoriented wheelchair ride off the plane in NY. Had I been sitting in coach, I can't imagine going through all of those hallucinations for so many hours with so many people crammed around me. I think they lucked out, too. Kris not so much, but everyone else...

Back to rehydrating.

Summer

So... Where is everyone? Oh. It's the beginning of summer. School is out. Vacations begin.

I learned this. I learned because over the past several weeks, "end of school year" activities have intensified. This is another cultural thing Europeans laugh at Americans about. "You Americans and your work... Who has time? Who.. has... time? But then if we do not ever take time, how can we ever have time?"

I am told not to plan for major software releases during the summer. No one is around to test, or accept the risk of such a schedule.

So... Where is everyone?

I'll be in Kansas City trying to find ways of shipping Chipotle vegetable burritos to Switzerland.