Nullachtfünfzehn

I have heard a set of sounds (a German phrase popular in Switzerland) now explained twice to me. These sounds represent a string of symbols: 08/15. Literally translated, null is zero, acht is eight, fünfzehn is fifteen. I recognized these sounds as they were being spoken because, in terms of speaking German, I am only a small child. Imagine a dog making the same facial expression I make when I recognize the meanings behind German sounds... "Go for a walk?" "Where's your ball?"

Nullachtfünfzehn is an idiom which comes from two years stuck together, 1908 and 1915. These years represent models of a German machine gun, MG-08/15, first issued in World War I, the latter having been improved for efficiency.

This set of sounds, in context of being explained about me, is actually an attempt at helping me integrate, an attempt at helping me to understand a behavior which is expected from me. In Switzerland, being nullachtfünfzehn is best. Not standing out is best. Being standard issue, following the rules, incorporating the opinions of others... is best. I am none of these. I stand out, which often causes conflict in my job because my confidence is a target, while it is also humbly built on the work and sacrifice of many others. I miss nuances through ignorance, or just a lack of realizing their local intrinsic value. I didn't grow up on the playgrounds of Switzerland, so I have no understanding of something like the power of a facial expression which might influence an entire population. I have come to agree that, while all of us are stars in a universe, some stars burn hotter and faster and are not sustainable. Nevertheless, during a star's time, there is still much utility from its energy and light. I can only suppose this is how I am viewed in this culture. Perhaps I am intended here for a short time, for a purpose which should reveal itself to me at some point.

Moving into a new culture, where all the rules are different, almost opposite, is like starting over from the beginning. At my age, I struggle with wondering if my outsider skills inside their culture have much value. If being nullachtfünfzehn is how to be successful in a place where the rules of success are not intuitive to me, perhaps the reason I am here is because my utility is to be a havoc-wreaking pulsar. In response to a conflict, I was given the usual phrase as advice "you're not going to change him." Was I brought here for my utility knowing that people don't change, or to learn this culture so that I might change and flourish within it? It is a puzzle that has put me at a self-reflective crossroad.

I believe great leaders inspire others, leading by example, employing positive motivation. To me, being nullachtfünfzehn is helpful when others need standard patterns, so that the rules are known, to instill comfort and trust, to know what to expect. Maybe that's the message I should be hearing. Just try to be more predictable so that others can trust. Most Americans would call me quite predictable. A completely unpredictable goofball... but even that is predictable.